


Hi Ho, Hi Ho

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-26
Updated: 2006-03-26
Packaged: 2019-02-02 05:53:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12720945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Sequel to Vacation.  It's back to work the boys go.  Daniel gets whumped.  Jack gets Oprahed.  Then things get interesting.





	Hi Ho, Hi Ho

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Um...alleged abuse of waterfowl?  


* * *

**Part 1: This is getting old.**

Well. 

This is getting old. 

"Daniel!" I shout at my prone archaeologist. The lights may be on but if Daniel's home he's not inclined to come answer the door. 

"Are you injured, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c chimes in with what has to be the single dumbest question of this, or any other, mission. 

"Ow," is Daniel's only response. He's lying flat on his back, eyes unfocused. I don't think he's capable of a more comprehensive reply at the moment. 

"What the hell was that?" I ask Carter and Teal'c. 

"I am not sure, but it appeared to originate from that direction," Teal'c says, pointing in the opposite direction from the gate. 

"I'll keep an eye on Dr. Disaster. You two check it out." Teal'c and Carter nod and head out. "And be careful!" I sit down next to Daniel. Really, really old is what this has gotten to be. We've been on 874 for a little more than 36 hours. A few ruins, a lot of trees and not a sign of intelligent life, present company excepted. No sign of trouble whatsoever. This should have been my first clue. Instead, when we're actually ready to head home a little early, none of us is prepared for some zingy energy beam to smack Daniel down as he dials us home. Never saw it coming. As SG-1's designated pessimist I should have expected something to happen. And expected it to happen to Daniel. 

"Jack?" 

"You back with me?" Daniel sits up, closing his eyes tightly. "How do you feel?" 

"Um... like who zatted me this time." Daniel rubs his temples. He sees me watching him and smiles wanly. "Just a headache. I'll be fine." He looks around, clearly baffled. "What the hell just happened?" 

"Zingy energy beam." 

"Of course." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It doesn't take long, once Daniel's back on his feet, to catch up with Carter and Teal'c. "Major?" 

"Well, sir... we think this must be the source," Carter says unhappily. She ought to be unhappy. We checked this out shortly after we arrived. It's a rock. 

"The rock?" I question. 

"Stela," Daniel corrects automatically. Whatever. 

"How?" I ask. 

"We have been unable to determine the mechanism by which it operates," Teal'c says. 

"Will it do it again?" This, of course, is the key point. 

"Well, I wouldn't want to bet against it," Carter admits reluctantly. "It may very well have been triggered by Daniel's attempt to dial the gate. If so..." Yeah, don't need to draw me a picture. 

"I'll see if I can work out some kind of translation," Daniel says, gesturing at the deeply carved surface. 

"Daniel, you don't understand this language." He doesn't. Nearly drove himself, and me, crazy yesterday trying to figure it out. 

"Well, we don't have a lot of options here, Jack." 

"C-4," I suggest. "Staff weapon." See—several options. 

"Oh, sir... I don't know if that's such a good idea." Carter is such a party pooper. 

"Sam's right. We should at least _try_ to find a way to shut it off first." Daniel's a party pooper, too. "You'll just have to find something else to blow the crap out of." Speaking of which, I know just exactly what 'something else' I'd like to blow. This, however, is not the most opportune moment to be having that thought. 

"Daniel, you don't understand the language." I don't want to beat a dead horse here but... 

"No, but now that I know it's function I'll have an idea of what to look for." 

"Like what?" 

"Like something that looks like it says 'Push here to turn off zingy energy beam'," Daniel says with an absolutely straight face. 

"You're quite the snide little fucker, aren't you?" I'm kind of proud actually. Daniel's always been quick, witty, and possessed of a great love of the ironic and even the outright absurd. But I don't think he achieved his full potential as a true master of fuck off and die sarcasm till he met me. 

"Little?" 

See? Daniel is the only person I know who questions little and completely ignores snide and fucker. In the meantime, Carter and Teal'c are eyeing both of us warily. I knew this was going to be difficult. This is the first time in the two weeks since Daniel and I returned from our vacation that the four of us have been all together—just the four of us. When we first got back Carter and Teal'c were off helping the Tok'ra with some experiment. About the time they got back, Daniel got called to Washington to explain the unusually high use of coffee rations on his missions. Or maybe it was to set up a training program in the care and feeding of Unas. I don't know. I don't care. Daniel's ass is mine and I really don't know where the Pentagon gets off thinking they have some sort of claim on him. Carter went off to do some guest lectures at the academy. Two days after Daniel got back, Teal'c and I had to take some wet behind the ears recruits out for field training. In truth, aside from being forced to go cold turkey from my newly acquired Danny habit, I was kind of glad. I needed some time to get my game face on. To figure out what my game face should be. Apparently I needed more time. 

"You've got an hour. Then we blow the crap out of it," I decide. Daniel gives a resigned sigh, but rather than fight me on it, he just goes to work. "Teal'c, stick close to Daniel. Carter, let's go see if there are any more of these rocks lying in wait." 

"Stelae," Daniel mutters under his breath. 

"Whatever." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"I never did properly thank you for the t-shirt," Carter says with a smile as we amble through the trees. 

No, Daniel definitely didn't buy her _that_ t-shirt. What he found was the loudest, tackiest, touristy-est t-shirt I have ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on. He insisted I buy it for Carter. I refused, of course, still possessing a modicum of good taste. Daniel bought it anyway and presented it to Carter on my behalf. She loved it. Which only goes to prove that there is something seriously out of whack with scientists' brains. 

"Don't blame that on me," I protest. 

"So, sir, what did you bring back as a souvenir?" Ah... besides the archaeologist? And a sore ass. Not that I'm complaining. It's just that we thought, after spending the first 24 hours in bed, that we had acted with a commendable degree of restraint. We actually did the cultural stuff during the day and saved the sex-capades for the evenings. Either we were a little too enthusiastic (Ya think?) or I'm just way out of practice. Probably a little of both. 

"I picked up a cool hat." Which Daniel loathed on first site. 

"What does Daniel think of it?" 

"He hates... Carter?" 

"I'm not allowed to ask." Daniel was right. She knows. "That doesn't mean you can't tell," she prods slyly. 

"What would be the point since you apparently already know?" Carter lets one of her industrial strength smiles show. They're not as rare as Daniel's but not a common sight all the same. She really is a hell of a woman. 

"So it all worked out?" Why ask, Carter—you already _know_. "I'm happy for you, sir." 

"Yeah... er..." She shakes her head sadly, resigned to my ineloquence when it comes to feelings and other meaning of life stuff. 

"Just... be careful. He's been hurt." Like I don't already know that. I can't make any promises but I'm really going to try to avoid the whole 'rip Daniel's heart out and stomp on it' scenario we've all seen played out too fucking many times. And where's some of that concern for the poor old colonel? 

"Notice you're not fretting over my tender heart." 

"You can handle it, sir." 

"So can Daniel." Daniel is tougher than most give him credit for, although Carter should know better. 

"I know. It's just that we'd all rather he didn't have to. Again." There is that. 

"So... we okay?" 

"I don't have a problem with what people do in the privacy of their own... uh, bedrooms." Not that I'm not relieved to hear that, Carter, but that's not exactly what I was referring to. 

"Good. That's good. I'm glad to know this isn't going to be a problem," I say with genuine relief. "But... I was kind of concerned. It wasn't so long ago that people thought that we... you know." I still don't know which feelings of Carter's got her caught in Anise's memory roto-rooter. My ego would be happy if she really had had feelings for me. My conscience, however, would be not so happy. Especially since we both played up to the idea afterwards. 

"We both know what a really bad idea that would have been," Carter says, looking both embarrassed and amused. "It was kind of..." 

"Hot?" I ask. Conscience aside, I'm still a guy and therefore a sucker for any and all plays to my male vanity. And I'm not too proud to beg. 

"Ah... nice was the word I was going to use," she says apologetically. "And fun. And flattering even. But anyone who saw some epic star-crossed romance was seriously deluded." 

"I'm wounded." 

"No, you're not." No, I'm not. Think the world of Carter, but she's right. It wasn't ever going to be 'gotta have it or I'll die' love with a capital L-O-V-E. 

"Still, it's a shame. Cause I can't get Daniel to salute me in bed even on a direct order." Well, he does... but it's not the kind of salute you'll find covered in any Air Force manual. Carter gawks at me with amazed disbelief. And why the hell do I say things like that? 

"I've got a news flash for you, sir," Carter chokes out. "You wouldn't be getting any salutes from me either." 

"Everyone's a fucking critic," I mutter at her. Just then a familiar 'zing' fills the air. We both turn as one and start running. I _told_ him not to touch anything! 

"I told him not to touch anything," I yell at Teal'c as Carter and I run back to the gate. Teal'c is dragging a limp Daniel away from the DHD. Damn it, Daniel. You better not be dead. 

"He did not," Teal'c informs me. "He was merely looking at the DHD to determine if it contained a means of disabling the weapon." I drop to my knees at Daniel's side. He's out cold and his pulse is a little too fast for my taste, but at least he has a pulse. 

"So there's no off switch on the rock?" I guess. 

"None that Daniel Jackson was able to find." Daniel groans. After a moment he opens his eyes... and immediately claps his hands over them. 

"Headache again?" Carter asks sympathetically. Daniel nods carefully. "On a scale of 1 to 10..." 

"About a 25," he mutters. "Prison," the king of non sequitors adds. I used to be afraid it was brain damage. It's not. It's just the way his mind works. 

"And that would be in reference to?" 

"This place. I think it's a prison planet. Sort of a prison farm type thing. I'm guessing only the warden or guards knew how to turn off the zingy beam." Fascinating—smack the boy up side the head and you never know what'll fall out. "Oh, and don't touch any part of the DHD." 

"Thanks for the tip," I say sarcastically. "Should have taken your own advice." 

"I did," he says scowling. "Except... I was standing on the base." 

"The whole thing is probably pressure sensitive," Carter says with a nod. Daniel struggles to sit up, his face tight with pain and looking way too pale. I gesture for him to just sit still. 

"I'll be fine," he insists. "Just need a couple... hundred aspirin." 

"Right," I mutter. That's about enough of this. "Teal'c, fire up the staff weapon." 

"Sir, I really don't think that's a good idea," Carter protests. 

"Major, we aren't getting home unless we can stop that thing. Daniel's way didn't work. So, unless you have a better plan, we're going to do it my way." Carter's lips tighten but, having nothing else to suggest, she holds her tongue. She helps me get Daniel to his feet. I nod to Teal'c. "Let's do it." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I make sure everyone's as far back from the rock as possible before giving Teal'c the go ahead. He hits it with a blast from his staff weapon. An annoying whine drills our ears and starts climbing in pitch. Daniel cringes. That probably doesn't feel good on top of his headache. "Again!" I yell and Teal'c blasts it once more. The noise gets even worse and I open my mouth to tell Teal'c to try one more when the damn rock just explodes. We all duck but fortunately most of the debris lands close to the ex-stela. Unfortunately, a split second later we hear another explosion. Crap. We run back to the clearing around the gate. Well, Carter, Teal'c, and I run. Daniel kind of stumbles along after us. We enter the clearing and stop dead. The DHD has blown completely apart. Daniel takes one look and then drops to his butt, cradling his head in his hands. And you don't have to dial 1-900-PSYCHIC to know that Carter is just dying to remind me that she thought this was a bad idea. Don't bother, Carter, that would be redundant. 

"Fuck a duck," I mutter. Carter's lips twitch. 

"It's just an expression, Teal'c." Daniel's voice comes from somewhere near my knees. I glance over at Teal'c who has an absolutely flabbergasted expression. What? Oh... sheesh! I'm not that desperate. Not even before I hooked up with lingo lad... who, as I look down to check on him, is turning an unflattering shade of green. 

"Daniel?" 

"Excuse me," he grunts, pulling himself to his feet and heading for the tree line. Carter and Teal'c move in to examine the DHD so I follow Daniel, just to make sure he doesn't stumble into some other booby trap. It doesn't take long for him to part company with his lunch and he drags himself back into the clearing, refusing my offer of assistance. He's hurting but insistent on making his own way. At least he's not green anymore. Daniel gets close enough to take a better look at the remains of the DHD. "So... now what?" he asks. 

"Well, now we go with plan C." Daniel stares blankly at me. Plan A—Daniel figuring out how to turn it off—was a painful failure. Plan B—blowing the crap out of it—was a noisy failure. And Plan C is... "Carter, you want to explain to Daniel what plan C is?" 

"Well, with sufficient charge we can dial out manually," Carter says. "But the power unit looks... well..." 

"A little worse for wear," Daniel supplies. Carter nods agreement. I glance at my watch. 

"Okay, kids. We're due back in a little less than ten hours. An hour after that Hammond will try contacting us." 

"We can request a generator from the SGC," Teal'c concludes. 

Like I said—plan C. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

We set up camp close to the gate to wait out the short night before the SGC contacts us. We should be safe here. According to both Daniel and Teal'c, there's no evidence that anyone's come calling for a very long time. Gee, wonder why? Maybe because there's no fucking way out and everyone but us already knew that? Are we always going to be the _last_ to know this kind of shit? Er... okay, not the time to go on a rant. 

Daniel did his best to help but it was killing him. And if it wasn't, well, it was killing us to watch him wincing and gritting his teeth. He didn't argue too much when I told him to take a load off. He also declined supper. Of course, that could just be the MREs. I suspect, in the wake of budget cuts, they've simply been repackaging WWII C rations. Anyway, Carter's volunteered to take first watch. I'm joining Daniel in the tent, ostensibly to catch a few z's before relieving Carter. I bring along a lantern so I can give Daniel a quick look over. I'll admit I'm a little concerned about the cumulative effect of that zingy beam. I turn the light as low as possible because I'm hoping he'll be asleep and I don't want to disturb him. Fat chance. 

"Hey," he says quietly. 

"Hey, yourself." 

"Talk to me." 

"About what?" What do you say to a guy who's been repeatedly zapped? Read any good rocks lately? 

"Anything, Jack. Just anything." 

"So... what do you think about the Cubs this year?" 

"Same as every year—they suck." True. Growing up a Cubs fan was the best preparation I could have had for life. Follow the Cubs and you learn early to deal with disappointment and disillusionment. After all, I was not born this cynical. And I wish he hadn't said suck. Because he does. Spectacularly. New subject please. 

"Carter knows," I toss out. 

"Which, if you'll recall, I pointed out to you a few weeks ago," Daniel says patiently, hand over his eyes. Even this dim light is more than he can comfortably deal with. 

"You said she knew about me. I'm saying she knows about us." Daniel lifts his hand slightly and peeks out, a slight frown wrinkling his forehead. 

"Oh." For a linguist he can be awfully terse. "Was she... uh... did she say anything?" "Just that I better not hurt you. You'd think she kind of liked you or something." Daniel smiles smugly. 

"Fuck with me and you've got _Major_ Carter to answer to," he teases lightly. 

"What if I just fuck you?" 

"Normally that would not be a problem." 

"Not tonight, dear, I have a headache?" 

"Not tonight, dear, _Major_ Carter is only five feet away," Daniel shoots back. 

"More like fifteen. And if you could just keep the volume down..." Honestly, I don't mind. Nothing like eardrum rupturing howls of 'god, Jack—YES!' to keep a guy's ego fat and happy. And, if anyone asks, I can blame the hearing loss on age. 

"I had no idea you were so kinky, Jack." Excuse me? "Bestiality?" 

"Don't change the subject." Beastie what? Whoa! "Absolutely not! That's just fucking perverted." 

"Well, it's your kink," Daniel says in his most non-judgmental voice. 

"Not!" I've never had carnal knowledge of a duck. Ever. 

"Teal'c thinks so." Yeah, and that is one explanation I don't care to even attempt. But I don't know if I trust Daniel or Carter to set him straight. And speaking of Teal'c and straight... 

"Think we should tell Teal'c? Since Carter knows..." 

"Teal'c knows." Huh? "Well, about me. He kind of figured it out a while ago." 

"Did he make a pass at you?" Me jealous? Ha! I scoff at the notion. 

"Would it matter if he had?" Daniel asks with genuine concern. 

"No." _Yes!_ I know Daniel's had other partners. I mean, that was pretty obvious the first night, but I don't want to think about them. I sure as hell don't want to be on a first name basis with them. 

"No," Daniel says with a disgusted shake of his head. "He didn't. He just gave me some friendly advice. Told me to shit or get off the pot." 

"Teal'c?" I would've liked to hear that. 

"Well, not in those exact words obviously." 

"How long ago?" 

"You don't need to know that." That long, huh? 

"So why didn't you?" I ask. Daniel stares at me, his expression guarded. "Do something." 

"It wasn't worth it." Well, thank you very much, Dr. Jackson. I have never claimed to be the catch of the day but I'm not exactly chopped liver either. Daniel sighs as he watches my face. "Jack, I mean it wasn't worth losing our friendship. If you hadn't been receptive to the idea it could have ruined everything... including the team. I just... I couldn't justify taking the risk." Ah. He doesn't mean I'm not worth the risk. He means he isn't worth the risk. Daniel has never feared speaking up to help someone else or save the planet or something. But he won't bother anyone with his needs, his happiness. 

"Daniel, you are worth it." He makes a noncommittal shrug in response. "And I happen to think we're worth it. Otherwise I wouldn't have..." 

"Kidnapped and molested me?" 

"Technically, you started the molesting," I point out purely in the interest of accuracy. 

"You took the first step," Daniel says. "Seemed only fair to meet you halfway." 

"You do know I wouldn't have done it for just anyone?" I say. "Wouldn't have done it for anyone _but_ you. And I don't plan to ever do it again." Daniel stares at me, mouth hanging open. Jesus, Daniel, buy a clue. You're it for me. The one and only. And don't you dare make me say it. 

"Yeah, uh, me, too," Daniel says shyly. 

"Shit." I'm fully aware that my harsh tone of voice is completely at odds with my goofy grin. "Are we getting all girly and mushy here?" 

"No." 

"You sure?" 

"Positive." 

"Cause it feels kind of Oprah-ish here." This draws a genuine smile from Daniel. 

"Never happen," Daniel assures me. The smile fades, his expression becomes tentative, and he starts biting at his lip. Whatever you're thinking—forget it. I'll give you something better to nibble on. "But... there is something we need to talk about." 

"No." 

"Jack..." No. No way. Don't know what it is but not going to talk about it. "I'm serious, Jack. We have to resolve this before it becomes a real problem." Oh, yeah, marching straight into Oprah territory. I knew it. "Ever since we got home you've been... closed off, distant." 

"Couldn't be too distant. Your dick had _no_ trouble reaching my ass two nights ago," I snap. Daniel glares angrily at me. 

"You know what I mean," Daniel spits back. "I realize that, to some extent, you have to act that way at work. I understand that keeping me at arm's length is a way of trying to protect us." Damn straight. This is one secret I worry about being able to keep. How do I hide the fact that I feel complete now? That Daniel has, in some unexpected and completely unexplainable way, filled the last big holes in my soul? We've always been close, too close according to some, and I'm hoping that no one will notice any real difference. "You're trying to protect me," he adds. You betcha. Protect you most of all. I've tried to keep it from Daniel but a lot of people thought he was gay from day one. Just because he had long hair and liked books more than beer. And completely ignoring the wife and the not so much bad as absent fashion sense. Fortunately, people tend to like Daniel and without proof they've pretty much ignored the question of his sexual orientation. But I worry. I worry that there are a few who, if they get proof, will do something about it. I worry that he'll be the one hurt. "Jack, I'm fully aware that some people think I mince right over the gender line on a regular basis." Well, no fucking wonder—go around using words like mince. 

"I don't need protecting, Jack," Daniel warns. "All my life people have tried to label me based on one perception, or misperception, or another. That's their problem. I am who I am. And yes, I'm completely comfortable with my sexuality and confident of my masculinity." 

"Asshole." 

"Obscenity is not a substitute for communication," Daniel says primly. "No matter what the marines told you." Thus spake St. Daniel. Can't fool me. I know what that mouth is capable of. 

"Arrogant prick." 

"Yes, it is." Uh oh, random sexual thought again. Wish he'd stop doing that to me. "Which probably explains why my masculinity is not an issue for me," he continues. "But this is all kind of beside the point." Beside the point? We're doing all this talking and feeling and it's not even the _point_? I just want to know—does Stedman have to put up with this? "I can deal with the 'colonel' at work. I respect the colonel. Sometimes I even like him." Well, that's big of you. "But I don't want him coming home with us. Definitely don't want him in bed with us." Yep, we are so deep into Oprahland we ain't ever getting out. 

"Jeez, where have I heard that before?" Sarah complained about the same thing. Repeatedly. "Daniel, you knew what I was like." She at least waited until we'd been together longer than 3 weeks. Although, maybe if she'd complained sooner... Don't go there, Jack. No sense crying over spilt milk. 

"I know you're the 'colonel'. It's part of who you are. Who you have to be—at work. But you're also just Jack." Daniel squirms a little, embarrassed but stubborn. "I want Jack." 

I like being wanted. 

"Daniel, you know how I am and well, the cliché about old dogs and new tricks comes to mind." Daniel starts to speak but I raise my hand to stop him. "But I... I'll try." And I hope you know I wouldn't do _that_ for just anyone either. 

"That's all I'm asking," Daniel says quietly. Poor guy looks worn out. The headache has sapped his energy more than he is willing to admit. 

"Get some rest. That's an order from your colonel," I say, my sternness somewhat mitigated by the fact that I'm running my fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp. I don't know if it helps the headache but it sure makes me feel better. 

"Since when have I ever taken orders from him?" Daniel mumbles. 

"Uncharted territory," I agree. Not a minute later he's completely out. I wait until his breathing has slowed as he settles into a deep sleep before leaving the tent to go relieve Carter early. She looks up curiously at me as I join her beside the fire. 

"Sir?" 

"I've been Oprah-ed." 

"Oh. Well. Good-night then."

* * *

**Part 2: And now for something completely different.**

"You're not going," I insist, pacing the length of Daniel's office. Daniel turns to look at me with a slight frown. "You can't." 

"I can and I am," he responds patiently. "I have to." Daniel has just spent the night in the infirmary courtesy of 874 and now Hammond is sending him off world again. SG-13 got into some kind of misunderstanding with the natives and now they need someone to pull their nuts from the fire. But why does it have to be Daniel? 

"They've got a linguist," I argue. Apparently he's not as good as mine. Jeez, what am I saying? Of course he's not as good as mine. 

"Robbins is just a linguist," Daniel responds. And your point would be? "He can speak the language but he's not familiar with the culture." 

"You're injured." 

"Janet released me," Daniel refutes, calmly stuffing one more book in his pack. 

"Barely!" Fraiser released him all right—amid dark mutterings about indefinable prognoses, intracranial trauma, unquantified alien weapons... Basically, Doc isn't taking responsibility if Daniel gets himself whacked in the noggin again and ends up doing the human veggie thing. And why did she keep looking at me? Does she think I enjoy seeing Daniel get whumped? If she only knew the whole story. He's mine now and anyone wanting to get to him is going to have to go through me. Like SG-13. 

"Who would be stupid enough to join a team numbered 13?" I mutter. Although Daniel doesn't look at me, I can see the corner of his mouth twitch with amusement. "Fine. You want me to beg? I'll beg. I'm not proud." 

"Hammond asked me to go with SG-9," Daniel repeats as he finally sets his pack aside and gives me his full attention. 

"But we just got home," I whine. Yes, whine. Pathetic doesn't even begin to cover it. 

"You just want... uh... sex," Daniel mumbles, looking around to be sure there aren't any extra ears listening. 

"No." Which is not to say I don't want sex. I want more than sex. I want Daniel. And sex. "Well, sure. So do you." 

"I should be back in a couple of days," he says with a smile. "I'll make it up to you." This sounds interesting. Promising even. "What do you want, Jack?" Ah... in terms of getting it on? Just tell you? 

"That's not your usual style," I stall. Daniel likes to "discover". Like a lot of guys, foreplay for me was basically a means to an end. For Daniel it's damn near a religious experience. I have to say, having participated in his version of a passion play several times now, I'm coming to see why. Pun intended. 

"I'm all for peaceful exploring," he says. "But there's something to be said for the direct approach." The problem is, I hate letting Daniel see just how 'white bread' my experience has been. Comparatively speaking. "Come on, Jack. There must be something you want. Maybe something you're curious about but haven't tried." He looks slyly at me. "I must say, though, if it involves water fowl of any sort..." 

"You're never going to let that go, are you?" One 'fuck a duck' and I'll be hearing perverted poultry jokes for the rest of my life. 

"I always suspected there was more to your fondness for loons than met the eye." 

"It's just an expression, damn it!" Daniel is the only person who can piss me off and make me laugh at the same time. "That's just disgusting." 

"Yes, well, what does that say about the mind that produced it?" Wasn't _my_ mind going straight to the gutter. 

"I'm telling the nurses," I threaten. We'll see how quick they are to soothe Daniel's fevered brow once they know what a cesspool simmers below the surface. 

"About your perversion?" Daniel asks, his eyebrows knit together in concern. "Is that wise?" Quitting now, while I'm still... less than completely humiliated. 

"Rim job," I blurt out. It takes a second for Daniel to rewind to the part of the conversation I'm actually responding to. For a moment, his face is unreadable. I'm not entirely sure this is better than hysterical laughter. 

"You've never...?" 

"No," I grudgingly admit. 

"Then you're in for a treat," Daniel says with a heartfelt smile. You know—I don't doubt it for a second. 

"So, what about you?" Daniel pretends not to understand. "Come on—give." 

"I want you to fuck me." This is not news. "Jack, you fill that Viagra prescription yet?" 

"No... what? Oh, fuck you! I don't need Viagra." It's the _knees_ that are shot. 

"Probably not," he concedes with a chuckle. His voice gets low and husky. "Do you want me to tell you?" You bet—I'm all ears. "I want you to... touch me. Softly, slowly... teasing me with your hands... and your mouth... until you own every inch of my body. Until I can't bear another second without you filling me." I'm all ears _and_ dick. Daniel's voice drops to little more than a whisper now, holding me with nothing more than anticipation. "When you finally do push in you move so slowly: in... and... out.... And... in... and... out." Daniel's hand gestures in time with his words. So does my cock. "Sometimes you don't move at all. Just... hold still, filling me, making me wait... torturing me with the need to come." Daniel flushes slightly. "You might have to restrain me... tie my hands up so I can't relieve my own frustration." Oh, yeah. That did it. Colonel O'Neill presenting arms here. "You move deeply—but slowly—until I'm begging for release. Until I'm pleading with you because I can't stand it anymore. Then you keep stroking, slowly, until _you_ can't stand it anymore." Daniel has a far away look on his face. I'm just breathing hard and leering. "When you're ready, and I'm nearly frantic with needing you, you slam into me hard, without warning... over and over, faster and faster, till I go off like the shuttle, screaming your name." Daniel's eyes hold mine, a dreamy smile on his lips. Well. Fuck. 

"Hot," I croak. Daniel tilts his head questioningly. "In here. Hot in here." 

"Hold that thought," he says, still whispering. He leans toward me and, like a magnet, I copy the motion. He's close enough to... but he wouldn't. Not here. "Jack," he says, his voice yearning. 

"Daniel?" 

"Jack." I nod encouragingly. 

"Jack," he breathes. Yeah, yeah—right here all ready. 

"Gotta go now," he says brightly. Daniel straightens up, grabs his pack, and strolls out the door... and leaves me here gasping and throbbing. 

"You asshole!" I howl after him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"How can you eat that stuff?" I ask Carter as I join her and Teal'c for lunch in the commissary the next day. She gulps down the mouthful she's been savoring. 

"It's Jell-O, sir." 

"It's blue." Food should not be blue. Except blueberries which naturally come blue. Hence the name. With anything else... it's not natural. On the other hand, it's about the only recognizable food in the place. "You know, it's bad enough this stuff tastes like crap. Do they have to make it look like crap, too?" Carter just shakes her head and continues eating. Teal'c studies me for a moment. 

"Will your mood always be thus when you are separated from Daniel Jackson?" he asks. 

"Be what?" I ask a little harshly. 

"Irritable, petulant, moody, sullen, peevish...." Petulant? _Peevish_? I knew it was a bad idea to give Teal'c that word of the day calendar. 

"I'm always irritable." Especially when I'm suffering from terminal blue balls thanks to Dr. 'gotta go now' Jackson. 

"Not like this, sir," Carter chips in. Daniel's been gone a little over 24 hours. People are starting to avoid me. I probably should consider the possibility that the two things are related. 

"I'm merely concerned for a teammate's welfare." No, I'm not fooling either of them. 

"He'll be fine, Colonel." 

"He's injured." 

"Dr. Fraiser cleared him for duty," Teal'c points out. 

"Grudgingly." 

"SG-9 checked in this morning and things are going well," Carter says firmly. They did and they are. Daniel worked his magic once again and resolved the situation. Now they have to do some ceremonial crap, smoke a peace pipe or something, then everybody will be happy and SG-13, SG-9, and Daniel can come home. But until then... 

"Two words, Carter: Daniel. Offworld." These two things in conjunction can and often do mean trouble. "And we're not there to back him up." 

"I would have accompanied Daniel Jackson willingly," Teal'c offers. 

"Me, too." Like this is news. "Hammond didn't ask for us." 

"He needed a cultural expert," Carter says matter of factly. "A diplomat. Not soldiers." 

"I can be as diplomatic as the next guy. Besides, Daniel does need a soldier to protect his ass." 

"Like you did on 874?" Carter mutters. 

"You got a problem with my command, Major?" Methinks I'm not the only one feeling a little peevish over dear Daniel's absence. 

"I'm just saying Daniel _and_ his ass are probably safer without you than with you," she retorts. I'm not going anywhere near the potential sexual allusions in that statement. 

"You saying I don't have what it takes anymore? That I can't take care of my people?" Carter just stares at me. Teal'c eyes both of us with disgust. "I may have lost a step but I've still got more than you'll ever have." 

"Care to prove it?" Carter challenges. 

"Choose your weapon." 

"Hand to hand," Carter shoots back. 

"You're on." Carter nods curtly and digs savagely into her Jell-O. Teal'c gives me a long look. 

"I will notify Dr. Fraiser immediately," he says still staring at me. Carter snorts just as she was sucking a spoonful of Jell-O. From the expression on her face I think she must have inhaled some of it all the way into her brain. 

"That's not funny," I tell Teal'c. I can take Carter and her little dog, too. 

"It was," he counters. 

"No, it wasn't." I point at Carter. "That was funny." 

"Bite me," Carter snipes as she coughs and blows her nose. I don't think that blue goo is coming back out as easily as it went in. 

"You and the Harley you rode in on," I throw back. Teal'c stands up. 

"I grow annoyed," he announces like it's a fucking proclamation from the throne or something. 

"I can take you, too." 

"You and which army?" Apparently Teal'c is feeling a tad peevish, too. Carter snorts again and inhales another cube of blue goo. 

"That can't be good for your brain." 

"Gym," she sputters. 

"15," I agree. 

"I await the outcome eagerly," Teal'c says ominously. 

"Bring it on," I snarl as I make my way out of the commissary. Out in the hall I have to lean against the wall until my knees stop shaking. 

I'm so gonna die. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Life is good. 

I managed to take Carter out yesterday afternoon. She may be younger but I'm sneakier. Unfortunately my knee started acting up (what a crying shame) and Fraiser forbid me to spar with Teal'c. So I gave the big guy a rain check. For some time when we're not feeling so peevish. In the end I got out of the mountain with both my reputation and my dignity reasonably intact. Then, best of all, Daniel came home. He was tired (he never really had time to recover from the zingy headache), excited (he made a bunch of new alien friends), and all out Alpha male. He had promised to give me something and he was god-damned going to make sure I took it. Boy, did I take it. Begged for it, in fact. Who knew a tongue could feel so different? Who knew it could feel so good? Daniel did... and you know Daniel. He loves to share knowledge. So I was laying there wondering how I could get so damn hard just from that when in a heartbeat he switches from something soft and wiggly to something big and firm. He thrust in and I came so hard, I thought I'd ruptured something. 

And was absolutely horrified at the thought of having to try and explain _that_ to Doc Fraiser. 

Now it's a beautiful, sunny, mild Saturday morning. I'm lying on the deck with one snuggly, naked archaeologist sprawled on top of me after a bout of mutual al fresco blow jobs. Which Daniel thinks is another of my kinks. It's not. I love the outdoors. I love sex. I see nothing in the least kinky about combining the two. Daniel shifts around a little and props his chin on my chest, staring at me. 

"Would you quit thinking for once? Just relax," I tell him, forcing my eyes open. 

"You relax enough for both of us." Why can't he just doze off after sex like a normal guy? 

"You sure you aren't a chick?" 

"You tell me," he retorts, wriggling suggestively against my thigh. 

"Are you telling me you never fall asleep after sex?" I ask. 

"Not right away," he says. "It's just rude." 

"No wonder the ladies love you." 

"You're just jealous," he accuses as he sits up. 

"Nope." I'm not. 'Cause ultimately I win, they lose. "And where do you think you're going?" 

"Coffee," Daniel says, waving a hand at the house. "Want some?" 

"Sure. Grab the paper while you're in there." He stands and stretches. Oh, yeah. Nothing like the beauty of the human body glowingly backlit by natural sunlight. Especially this body, the skin dewy with... Jesus H. Christ. The sap not only rises it overflows. Spews even. What's next? Mushy love poems? I _knew_ I wasn't ever getting back from Oprahland. Daniel notices me ogling him. 

"Kink," he mutters. 

"Not!" I don't think he minds too much considering it only took about thirty seconds to convince him to try it. "See what movies are playing." 

"Movies?" he questions as he strides across the deck. 

"Yeah. Thought we could hit that Thai place for supper and then a movie." Daniel hesitates at the doorway. 

"A date?" 

"We've done the dating thing." A flicker of something—regret? longing?—crosses his face. Right. We 'dated' on vacation but not here. We aren't free to be ourselves here. Not as long as we're part of the SGC. Daniel knows we have to be discreet. Doesn't mean he has to like it. Doesn't mean I have to either. Daniel just gives a resigned shrug and walks into the house. "You can pick the movie," I call after him as consolation. 

"Is this because of..." his voice trails off. 

"The mind blowing sex? You betcha." I can hear his chuckle from in the kitchen. 

"I'll keep that in mind for future reference." 

"Sorry—one freebie per orgasm. You want more you're going to have to keep coming up with the goods." 

"Sir, yes, sir." His voice is faint from within the house somewhere. I do believe he has some ideas in mind. Bring it on, rock boy—I feel ready to take on all comers. No pun intended. I laze on the chaise, imagining what it would be like to be able to be the real us. Being out and going out. I can even imagine the voices of the people around us. One of which sounds an awful lot like Carter's. Oh, man, there's something probably really deeply, disturbingly Freudian to that... which I don't want to know about. 

"He might be back on the deck." That's... weird. I'm imagining us out on the town not.... Oh, fuck! I sit up in an absolute panic just as Carter and Fraiser (Fraiser?!?!—somebody really hates me) walk up the steps from the yard to the deck. Their eyes get wide as saucers as I hastily transfer my ball cap from my head to my... balls. 

"Jeez!" Carter yelps as she drops her eyes. "Sorry, sir." 

"Never would have guessed you as the type for nude sun bathing, colonel," Fraiser drawls wickedly as she looks her fill. Nude sunbathing? Okay, I can work with that. As long as Daniel just stays in the house. 

"Carter?" 

"We knocked, sir," she insists. Daniel must have been too far back in the house to hear it. "I know you hang out back here or on the roof so.... I'm really, really sorry." She tries to keep her eyes on mine, but they keep sliding away. "We were going to leave but we thought we heard voices." 

"Talking to yourself again?" Fraiser teases. "Or just a really good dream?" Carter's eyes suddenly go wide and she shoots a panicked look at me. Yeah, Carter, thanks for cluing in here. Finally. And no, that is not suntan lotion you and Doc are seeing down there. And why are you looking down there anyway? 

"We should go," Carter blurts out. 

"Don't be silly, Sam. The damage is done," Fraiser says with amusement. "We might as well..." 

"No, we really should _go_." Carter tries to hustle Fraiser away. But it's too late. I can hear Daniel's soft footsteps approaching. 

"God help me," I groan. 

"What's the matter, Jack? The Viagra finally kick in?" Daniel's smile dies an instant death as he walks through the door wearing nothing but a bandana and—now—a newspaper. And yes, I suppose the bandana does count as one of my kinks. What can I say—it's hot. Daniel freezes. Carter again drops her eyes, looking completely mortified. Doc eyes Daniel boldly. Maybe it's because she's a doctor. Maybe it's because she has a set of brass ones most guys would kill for. She turns back to me, studying every detail. 

"Sweet suffering Jesus!" she roars. "You're fucking gay?" Well, that puts Daniel's back right up. 

"We're gay" he announces. "No fucking about it." He frowns as he actually hears what he said. "Well, actually..." 

"Daniel!" He clamps down on the rest of what he was going to say, so I turn to the other two. "You— wait in the living room. Daniel, you're with me." He turns to go back into the house. "Daniel—newspaper." 

"Get your own," he mutters, proving that his instinct for self preservation isn't as underdeveloped as it sometimes seems. No way you want to turn your naked ass on Fraiser. I have to wait for Carter and Doc to clear the deck before I can grab the towel I was sitting on and wrap it around me. By the time I get to the bedroom, Daniel already has his jeans and t shirt on. I dress quickly. When I finish, Daniel's looking at me. 

"We'll be fine," I assure him. He nods, not really believing it, and follows me to the living room. Carter's sitting on the corner of the couch, hunched over and looking thoroughly miserable. Fraiser's standing ramrod straight in the middle of the room. 

"How long?" Fraiser snaps. 

"Hey!" I say as I take a seat on the couch. Need to go on the offensive and regain control of the situation. "This is my house and you will treat me with respect." Daniel stands nearby, hugging himself, as Fraiser takes a deep breath and nods. 

"Of course, Colonel. You're right." She looks at Carter. "You knew?" Carter nods. "Does Teal'c know?" Another nod. "Is it a problem?" 

"No, Janet," Carter protests. "It doesn't change anything. They're still... well, you know how they are." 

"How long have the two of you been together?" Doc asks again. 

"Forever," I answer, not wanting her to think this is something new, that anything's going to change. 

"A month," Daniel answers, honestly, at the same time. We look at each other. 

"Just seems like forever sometimes," I amend. 

"Son of a gun" Doc sighs. "And to think I came over here to..." She rounds on Carter indignantly. "You knew and you were going to let me...?" 

"What?" Carter asks defensively. She sucks at playing dumb. 

"Do what?" I demand. 

"Nothing," Fraiser snaps. 

"Do what, Janet?" Daniel asks calmly. Even Doc can't resist Daniel's gentle concern. "Ask a favor," she admits reluctantly. We all wait in expectant silence. "I need... here's this formal official function tonight and... I need a date." I stare, speechless. 

"And you were going to ask... Jack?" Daniel says incredulously. Hey! _Not_ chopped liver here. Daniel gives me the eye. Right, fine—reining in the ego. 

"We'd be at each other's throats in five minutes," I point out. 

"Exactly," Fraiser agrees. "I don't have to worry about anyone getting any stupid ideas about the two of us." Point of fact—I don't dislike Fraiser. It's just that we just seem to bring out the worst in each other. I get within five feet of her and my hackles rise. She sees me and goes all Napoleonic. We're a combustible mixture. And not in the good way. "The way we fight there's no way we could be having a thing." The irony of that statement hits Daniel and I at the same time. We turn to look at each other. Fraiser watches us for a second before it hits her too. 

"Oy," she says, slapping herself on the forehead. "Just my luck I have to pick a guy whose idea of foreplay is verbal assault and battery." 

"Just _my_ luck I have to pick a guy..." Daniel echoes. 

"Hey," I say sharply, reaching over to smack his butt. Daniel raises an eyebrow at the women and gives them the classic 'see what I have to put up with?' look. I thought Sarah had the patent on that. "Prick." 

"Asshole," Daniel responds. 

"Only if you're a very good boy." Daniel gives me an exasperated look. Fraiser, on the other hand, looks like she's giving serious consideration to sedating us both. "Janet, I just had an idea," Carter says enthusiastically. "It's perfect. Better than the colonel. Take Daniel as your date." 

"Hands off!" I bellow in what is possibly a _slight_ overreaction. "You already know way too much about Daniel's, er, private parts." 

"What in heaven's name do you think I'm going to do to him?" Fraiser snaps incredulously. 

"Doesn't matter. We've already got plans." Not to mention he's mine. "And let's get serious. I mean, did your ex have any balls left after you got through with him?" 

"Meorrrw" Janet says. 

"Which reminds me—the vet called. He can do your declawing anytime." 

"Jack!" Daniel says sharply. "He doesn't mean it, Janet." Do too! "But... we do have... we... ah... we have a date." Doc considers that idea, her need to smack me down warring with her desire to be kind to Daniel. Tough choice. So she does both. 

"Date? Well, that's a concept I admit I'd never considered before. Not in relation to you two," she says slowly. "I'm not sure whether I should get all warm-fuzzy... or just gag." Feel the love. Anyway, time to lay our cards on the table. 

"This," I say, gesturing at me and Daniel, "isn't going to go away. What are you going to do about it?" 

"Do?" Fraiser asks, puzzled. A salute reminds her who owns our asses. "Oh. As far as I'm concerned, there's no reason for me to do anything. As long as Sam and Teal'c are comfortable with the situation, and as long as it doesn't affect your ability to perform your duties I don't feel obligated to do anything." The implied threat being that if it does affect our ability to work with the team... Well, she does still have her claws. 

"Really?" Daniel says looking like the weight of the world has lifted. 

"Officially... I don't know a damn thing," Doc assures him. An uneasy silence settles on us. 

"Well, this is..." 

"Awkward?" I suggest. 

"Silly," says Fraiser. "Nothing's different. I just know about it now. And I'm here as a friend, not the major or your doctor." 

"Oh." Daniel sounds disappointed. Fraiser picks up on it, too. 

"What's wrong, Daniel?" 

"Nothing... just that I had a question for you. As a doctor." 

No. He couldn't. 

"Go ahead, Daniel. I guess I'm always the doctor," Fraiser says giving him a pat on the shoulder. 

He wouldn't dare. 

"But not the major?" Daniel clarifies. Fraiser nods agreement. 

Don't even _think_ about it. 

"Okay, well, Jack and I have a slight difference of opinion on what's normal. I sit on his dick till he screams and then—this is the problem—he falls asleep immediately." 

He did it. Jesus jumped up Christ in a sidecar—I'm going to kill him. 

"Also, to be honest, every time he sits on mine." Fraiser just gapes at Daniel. "Either way he's always falling asleep right afterwards." Carter has turned about 12 shades of red—all of which, combined with orange top she's wearing, make her look like a tall Tequila Sunrise. "So, is it normal?" 

And me? I think I'm having a stroke. 

"You-you-you..." Daniel looks at me curiously. "Are you fucking nuts?" I yell. Fraiser suddenly starts laughing. Not a polite ha-ha or an embarrassed tee-hee. An all out guffawing belly laugh. She has to grab on to Daniel's arm to keep herself from sliding to the floor. 

"He's right," Doc chortles, flapping a hand in my direction. "You are fucking nuts!" 

"Way to break the tension, Daniel," Carter chides, letting out a sigh of relief. A smile tugs the corner of his mouth. 

Fucking space monkey. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"I don't care, Daniel. You just can't go around saying shit like that." Fraiser and Carter both think Daniel asked Doc that question just to mess with their heads. And while I'm going to go on letting them think that, I know better. He was serious. "They might have believed you." 

"So what," he protests, shimmying out of his slacks. After Daniel's spectacular way of easing the tension, the ladies, and in Fraiser's case I use the term loosely, hung around and shared lunch with us before going off on whatever other missions of male humiliation they had lined up. 

"Carter might have died of embarrassment," I suggest. Daniel chuckles and stretches out on the bed. I'm relieved that he's in a good humor. I caught him watching me a lot today. Watching for the 'colonel', concerned that our inadvertent outing will make me shut down. Pull back. We did do dinner and a movie. And the 'colonel' was much more in evidence than he probably needed to be. More than Daniel wanted him to be, but he didn't fuss about it. During the movie I held Daniel's hand. Discreetly and briefly, and even that made me a little uncomfortable, but I had to make the effort. A light squeeze of my hand was Daniel's only response—gesture acknowledged. I know Daniel. As long as I make the effort, as long as I try, he'll forgive me almost anything. It's been a long time since I've felt that kind of acceptance and security, and even longer since I gave it. I refuse to fuck this up. We're home now and, if I can just get this last sock off, both in bed. I'm bound and determined the colonel is done for the night. It's just Jack... and Jack has a mission. To wit: fucking Dr. Jackson long and slow. 

Daniel seems to approve of my plan of attack. You gotta love a guy this responsive. And he's right about going slow. There's a definite advantage to taking time—a lot of time—to explore. I have time to notice the differences in skin texture between different parts of his body, from the finely ridged fingertips to the coarsely haired thighs to the sleek strength of his cock. I have time to learn those differences with my hands and my lips and tongue. I have time to find and taste every scar, just as he's done with mine. He doesn't have as many as I do, thankfully, but they tell a story. I'm really getting into this, getting into the zone. Daniel, however, who normally has patience to spare, is getting a little pushy. 

"Right there, Jack, right... noooo," he moans as my fingers slide past his opening. "What—do you need me to draw you a picture?" he snaps. I'm enjoying this. I keep teasing and he keeps moaning. It's enough to swell a guy's dick. "It's right there, Jack. Find my cock and head due south—you can't miss it." He wiggles a little to urge me on... but I'm not done playing yet. I'm wondering... what Daniel did to me last night felt pretty damn good. And Daniel didn't seem to be having such a bad time himself. So I'm wondering what it would be like to give a rim job. "God damn it, Jack, grab a compass and let's gooo... Oh!" My tongue finds its way to his private entrance (my private entrance now) and Daniel literally shivers. A whole new taste and texture to learn. And anything that can get this kind of reaction from Daniel is worth exploring. "Oh yeah, oh yeah," he keeps muttering, getting louder and louder. He slides one hand down his belly but I intercept it. I clamp my other hand firmly on his dick, holding him at bay, pulling him ruthlessly back from the edge. That little trick I already knew. May have to use it on myself before this is over. I look him in the eye as he growls at me. "Jesus, what's it going to take?" he yells. "Pretend I'm a duck and fuck me already!" 

I won't give him the satisfaction of reacting to that. I _will_ make him pay for it. 

"You really are a dirty minded little pervert, you know?" I kneel between his legs, my arms snaking under his knees and holding both of his hands. I lean over to kiss him. Oh, yeah, got him right where I want him. 

"What is with the 'little'?" he snipes. "I'm not a child. I'm as big as you are." I spare a glance at his decidedly adult dick. Maybe even a little bigger than me. "Little fucker, little pervert," he mutters. 

"I don't know, Daniel. Medium sized fucker just doesn't have the same panache." 

"What?" Daniel drops his head back, stunned that I'm debating semantics in the middle of sex. I take advantage of his momentary distraction to hitch his hips up a little further and slide in. Daniel gasps and shifts his legs to better accommodate me, his engorged cock leaking as I slide across his prostate. We both let out a deep sigh of relief when I'm fully in. "Finally," he breathes. 

"I'm just giving you what you asked for," I remind him, sliding almost all the way back out. 

"You had to start listening to me now?" he complains. This is... not going to be easy. My natural inclination, my natural rhythm, is a little faster... a little more rhythmic. And Daniel is doing everything he can to encourage that. His legs over my shoulders and hooked across my back, and his hands grasping my ass are all trying to urge me to move. It's a struggle but after a few minutes I find a new rhythm. Two deep breaths as I slide in, hold for another couple of breaths, then two deep breaths as I pull almost all the way out. I focus solely on moving and breathing. Daniel unconsciously mimics my breathing pattern. It's damn near hypnotic as we move and breathe as one, his body merely an extension of mine. Or mine of his. Eventually, though, Daniel loses the focus. Or rather shifts his focus... from process to completion. 

"Come on, come on. I can't stand it anymore," he whimpers. Whimpers? I've never heard Daniel whimper before. I think, in this context, I like it. 

"Who needs the Viagra now, begging boy?" I taunt. Daniel scowls at me. He takes one hand from where it's kneading my ass and starts stroking his own cock, aiming for a little self satisfaction. I capture that hand, and before he can think of it, take the other and pin both up by his shoulders. I'm _all_ the way in as I rock up and kiss him deeply. 

"Please, please, _please_ ," he moans into my mouth. I pull back and decide to take pity on him. And me. My legs feel like I've just run a goa'uld induced 5K to the gate. I thrust forward with all the power my shaking legs can manage. Daniel cries out and arches up to meet me, his cock twitching as I pound into him. And once I start, dear god, I don't think I could stop if my life depended on it. I thrust uncontrollably and Daniel half growls, half sobs my name as his cock pulses between us. I keep pounding for what seems like both an instant and forever before my dick explodes. It's about all I can do to pull out before collapsing on Daniel. I think I truly understand now how sex can actually kill. My heart is pounding a mile a minute, I'm gasping for air... and I'm a physically fit field officer for crying out loud. 

"God, I love you, Danny. Never, ever letting you go," I say hoarsely. Mean it, though I'll deny it if asked. "I'm not just talking about the sex either. Although, honestly, it's a hell of an incentive." 

This is odd. Scoring a 10 here on the sap meter and no pithy comeback from Daniel? 

"Spacemonkey?" I force my head to lift so that I can look at him. Holy heart stopper—he didn't. He isn't! Calm down, Jack. There's no way I killed him with sex. For one thing, I survived and I'm a lot older than he is. Besides, I've been laying all over him, listening to that heartbeat, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. "Daniel?" There's a slight wrinkling of his nose, but no other reaction. Huh. Sound asleep. Just like a normal guy. 

Knew he had it in him.


End file.
